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Last night I told my husband that I feel like I’ve aged 20 years since we were married four years ago.  I quickly laughed so he’d know it was just a joke . And this morning I realized that today is my parents’ 41st wedding anniversary.

If being married truly makes my “feels-like” age increase by five years every year, I decided it would be a good idea to see if my parents might offer some advice. So I called them today to ask if they have any tips for a long lasting marriage.

For my mom, a few key words came to mind. “Respect, kindness, patience, honesty, forgiveness, sincerity, commitment and hard work. But the most important thing is to never take anything too seriously and never lose that sense of belonging, home and family.”

My dad put it another way when he said, “There’s a secret to figuring out how to get over being mad at each other. It’s not holding grudges. Sometimes I get really ticked* off at your mom but for some reason I get over it. Which really ticks* me off, now that I think about it. I should stay mad. I’m too easy.”

So by the time Bill and I are married 41 years, hopefully I won’t “feel-like” I’m 221 years old. Instead, I’ll simply be about twice as old as I am today and happily NOT holding grudges. Thanks, mom and dad, for your advice and your example. Happy Anniversary!

*Some words have been modified to keep this post G-rated.